From the Agamemnon of Aeschylus (written c. 458 BCE)
Pathei Mathos can be translated as learning from adversary, or wisdom arises from (personal) suffering, or personal experience is the genesis of true learning.
Understood in its original context, Aeschylus expresses that wisdom arising from personal experience is more valuable than what any impersonal words, faith, or doctrine can impart to us.
It still shocks me that I am only a few days away from beginning my residency. Four years have come and gone. I now have a degree and letters behind my name to show for it. This last year has presented with its own unique challenges and a lot has changed in four years. Let’s have a look back.
It was here that I first learned how to correctly use my stethoscope, how to speak with patients, and how to act like a doctor. These were my baby steps. I studied a whole host of topics, covering the broadest and biggest organ systems. It was also here that I learned anatomy and had the privilege to work with cadavers.
In many respects this was the most stressful year. While clinical work is taxing in its own right, nothing came close to the mental toll this year had on me. Studying was both a necessity and a compulsion. Easily I spent entire days sitting a library, reading, memorizing, understanding. I had never studied that much in my entire life.
This time, the stresses of clinical work were balanced between the mental and the physical. By far the most challenging year of all but also the most enjoyable. Having sat in class for the better part of my life, now I would have to do.
It was an adjustment to work in a hospital, to see volumes of patients, to do call shifts. But I adjusted and grew used to the pace of the ward. Gradually, I learned to move from knowing how, to showing how, to doing.
On top of the clinical work, I had a number of additional challenges this year. I had an all encompassing OSCE, residency applications and touring, and a licensing exam to complete. By this point, clinical rotations were not quite as overwhelming or scary as they used to be, but I still had many hard days.
The brunt of the stress this year came from the latter additions. Those three things were for all the marbles, and the consequences of missing any one of those were a constant worry. The OSCE wound up showing some of my weaknesses that I would need to improve on. The CaRMS tour would take me across the country from colder to coldest winters in Canada. The licensing exam ended up being a two-week mad dash to the finish line. For six months, the pressures mounted through these three main events.
But I eventually reached the end of my four year journey. I graduated, I was admitted to a residency program, and I passed my exam.
It has been a roller coaster ride through four years of medical school. I am happy I could document it all here in these posts. Now I start a different journey through residency and look forward to reflecting more on this new adventure.
…is my last clinical day of medical school.
…is my last day seeing patients before residency.
…is my last day introducing myself to patients as a medical student.
Though I still have a month plus change of classes before school is officially over, I am both excited and terrified of what is to come.
I have quiet time on call and I cannot bring myself to sleep. I feel like a zombie.
A thorough physical exam was deferred as patient was noncooperative and threatened to spit and defecate on me.