Posts tagged joke

The Paradox.

The Paradox.

Xanax from New in Town by John Mulaney.

Over the weekend, I discovered this hilarious bit by comedian John Mulaney about trying to procure Xanax and it still makes me grin. I would recommend listening to some of his other material as well.

The Matching Conspiracy.

When you think about the whole interviewing experience, it really is analogous to online dating. You sign on, read the profile the residency programs have created, and write your own in turn. Only after each has written and read each other’s profiles, do you all agree to a blind date. You meet for the first time and each party has thirty minutes to figure out if the other is the the one they have been looking for.

Anyone who has read this blog for a length of time knows that I love typography. The Canadian Residency Matching service (CaRMS) happened to use one of my favourite typefaces called Gill Sans. But where have I seen that typeface before.

Hm…

Right! eHarmony.

Coincidence? I think not. Dare I say they may be one and the same company? The plot thickens…

As Horatio would say: “The writing is on the wall.”

Where did he even get that font?!
Sometimes, a poorly legible note is only made worse when it is scanned into the computer. Detail is lost, the writing is faded, and what may have been semi-legible is completely incomprehensible. Welcome to first world medical problems.

Where did he even get that font?!

Sometimes, a poorly legible note is only made worse when it is scanned into the computer. Detail is lost, the writing is faded, and what may have been semi-legible is completely incomprehensible. Welcome to first world medical problems.

When you become a ‘real’ doctor, you will not have to ‘roll down’ your window anymore.
A surgeon’s remark to a resident and his old beat-up Honda Civic and its lack of power windows as he drove by the strolling physician on the road.
  • Question: What did the protein say to the nephrotic kidney?
  • Answer: Stop pissing me off.

Five Doctors Go Hunting

Five doctors - a general practitioner, a paediatrician, an internist, a surgeon, and a pathologist - decided to take a weekend trip and go duck hunting.

Soon after they were in their duck blind, a bird flew over and the general practitioner said, “I think that is a duck,” and so he took aim and slowly squeezed the trigger…but then he lowered his rifle and said, “I better get a second opinion.” “Back of the line,” said the group.

Another bird flew overhead and the paediatrician said, “I think this one is a duck too,” and he took aim…only to lower his rifle and say “but that duck might be a mother have baby ducks somewhere.” “Back of the line,” said the group.

A third bird flew overhead and the internist shouted, “That looked like a duck, etiologically classified as Animalia, Chordata, Aves, Anseriformes, Anatidae, based on the size, I am judging it to be a male, with an estimated weight of…” Before he could finish his thorough assessment or raise his rifle, the bird was gone. “We do not need to hear all that gibberish. Leave it to me,” said the surgeon.

Then a fourth bird flew overhead and the surgeon immediately raised his rifle and with no hesitation shot the bird out of the sky. He then turned to the pathologist standing next to him and said, “now go find out if that was a duck.”

Breaking Even

  • Patient: I swore to myself, "You better live to be 150!"
  • Me: That's a ripe old age! Why 150?
  • Patient: It's because of all of my pension, medical benefits and coverages. I figured, for all the years I paid my taxes, I cannot die before the government pays their due diligence and covers me for all of my future medical problems.
  • Me: I see.
  • Patient: I did all of the math already, you see?
  • Me: To break even? At 150?
  • Patient: *Serious tone* That's right. If I die before that, the government wins.
  • We share a laugh.
Let he who is without sin pass the first stone.
A urologist.