I can feel it around the bend. It is creeping in from all sides: I am not sleeping well; I am not eating well. When I sit down to study, I cannot maintain my concentration and the information seems to evaporate before it has a moment to settle in my mind. While I hate to admit it, it is become more and more evident.
The first step to fixing any problem is acknowledging that there is a problem.
And this is a terrible problem to have at this point with a big exam coming.
One of the benefits of my rotation is the fact that I can schedule my own call. I had some faint aspirations to pick up the call shift tonight. But what I need more than anything is a moment away from it all.
Tonight I will just go with the flow and let my body dictate what it needs to get better again.
Thank you all for your patience and support.
I have a board exam in five days and I am freaking out. This is the culmination of my life. If I fail it I will have no job.
I see it in all of you. You will all make great doctors because you care about your patients. It is in the way you behave and talk.
You will be great doctors. I know you are all struggling to find what is true and right. But hear me: do not let this schooling system rob you of your sense of self.
I thought the exam overall went pretty well. Having only had two oral exams though, this one included, I still find the practice to be very awkward and disjointed.
For example, the examiner goes by a script and does not move to the next section until I have finished my answer and will tell me information afterwards that I may not have requested because it is in the script. Though I had a list of investigations I wanted to have done, the timing of some of them was inappropriate for that particular moment and I was reserving them for - in my mind - a later point in the case as it unfolded. It was a terrible mistake and easy points were lost.
Having said that, I feel that I eventually did come to the right diagnoses for the cases I had, though my process getting there could definitely have been slicker and more thorough.
Overall it was actually a very straight forward and easy exam. And that just makes it all the more painful when my nerves get the best of me and I miss the easy points.
Square yourself away and get your act together, brain!